hey (reichell) wrote in pervaciousness,
hey
reichell
pervaciousness

yoheyyoheyyo

I'm such a loser but here goes. I started a new job about 6 months ago and fell in love with this guy I work with. At first I thought he was kind of a dork and thought nothing of him. But now I can't stop thinking about him and it really really sucks. Especially due to the fact that he has a girlfriend. I don't know what it was that made me start liking him so much. We closed one night together and flirted all night(which I knew was wrong, but did it anyway)than he walked me to my car where we talked and stood for 15 minutes in the cold. Ever since then I can't get him off my mind. I seriously get butterflies and the jitters whenever I see this guy. I loathe everyday because I work with him and it's not like I can avoid him or my stupid ass girly crush on him. Plus the fact that he is super kind and thoughtful towards me when we work together makes it even worse. He's probably in a happy relationship yet I still can't stop having feelings for him. His girlfriend is super pretty and was at the Christmas party that we had at work. I try not to think about him or pay attention to him at work, but then there he is being super hot and nice to me. I've never felt this way about anyone before and it's kind of scaring me. I told only one friend about all this and she advised me to stay away, which I am, I would never want to do anything because he has a girlfriend. It's nice getting all this off my chest and probably nobody is going to read this...but it's seriously killing me seeing him all the time since I like him so much. I would start checking the schedule to see when I worked with him, but it would make me so nervous and anxious to see him that it affected my work. Because of this I had to stop checking to see, so now I just get surprised when he walks in which is still just as bad. I love everything about him, his voice, his hair, his eyes, his laugh, his smile, sense of humor, the way he walks, talks, everything. I make myself sick with self hatred just thinking about him. I'm hoping writing all this will get him out of my mind, because it's the new year and he's all I can think about right now. Maybe someone can relate to this intense feeling of attraction towards someone that you can't have, and can give me some pointers on what I should do.
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